AKUNGENWA*

Die $%#@* Boere!

2007-07-20T05:37:00.000-07:00

Ja, ek weet ek was blerrie slapgat die laaste tyd maar n Boer moet darem so nou-en-dan n bietjie boer ook ... kannie heeldag voor die blessitse computer sit nie! Nou voel n mens boonop aardig om deesdae n boer(of is dit Boer?) te wees, veral in die lig van daai poephol en sy vrou wat n plaaskind na bewering vermoor het.

Die idiotiese paartjie het natuurlik n nimmereindigende lang lat vir mede-boere gepluk wat periodiek oor ons gemeenskaplike agterente neergebliksem sal word net om die wereld te herinner watse lae gespuis die Boere nou eintlik is. Elke boer en sy vrou is van nou-af n kindermoordenaar en/of molesteerder....Nosey Pieterse, en Women on Farms, en Tony Ehrenreich en elke ander Boere-hater sal hierdie gemors aangryp om boere verder te demoniseer.

Om Boer te wees voel alreeds deesdae soos om n roker te wees...jy wag byvoorbaat vir die vuilkyk, die kwetsende opmerking, of die lyftaal wat totale misnoee en irritasie uitstraal. Die rokery het ek gelos, maar hoe gemaak met die boerdery? Lees tog n bietjie wat skryf die menseregte-aktivis Rhoda Kadalie nou die dag in n bekende Kaapse dagblad:

"The Cape times recently reported that 20 000 farmers have left the land because of low import tariffs and the dumping of cheap agricultural products from rich countries where farmers are heavily subsidised. Add to that the more than 2000 farmers murdered since 1994, and the picture looks grim.
"Nothing is done to protect agriculture, leaving a tenuous food security situation. We are ironically losing farmers to Mozambique and other neighbouring African countries, where many have started new lives with the support of their new host countries.
"As with the doctors who leave in droves, so too, farmers are leaving in great numbers, not least because of land expropriations...and the lack of support from the government."

Maw, daar is darem nog denkende mense wat begrip toon vir die landbou-sektor in SA, maar ek's bevrees die kalf is al n bietjie diep in die put...maar laat ons nie neerslagtig raak nie WANT die melkprys klim mooi elke maand, wol is lewendig en lus vir verdere stygings, vleispryse is die beste ooit met uitstekende vooruitsigte, en selfs in die kleingraanbedryf is daar sprake van rekordpryse later vanjaar.
As die Springbokke nou ook net n slag ordentlik wil wen gaan ek dalk minder lus raak vir rook!

The Great Escape!

2007-06-17T22:46:00.000-07:00

In my preceding scribble I refered to the "momentous miracle" that any Bok victory has become these days, given the bunch of holistic assholes who control the game in this country...well, those comments were hardly posted or a 20-year old genius from the plains of the Free State stepped up and grabbed victory from the jaws of defeat...another momentous (and memorable) miracle!

But then it happens...the crowning stuff-up of the afternoon: who gets the Man of the Match(MOM) Award? Frans Steyn?...who has just saved the Boks' (and Jakes') ass? Or maybe Jean de Villiers?... for cutting the Aussie-backline in half more than once? Or, what about Ruan Pienaar?...whose snappy go-forward service kick-started the Bok-engine and provided vital momentum through-out the Test? Or Bakkies Botha, just for being Bakkies...with great affect?

In fact, the one bloke who received the most ball, and did the least with it got the MOM. After about the six hundred and fifty fourth time that Schalk Burger received the ball, and ceremoniously fell to the ground WITHOUT PASSING THE BLOODY BALL, to any array of players on either side of him, I decided to watch the clock to see if it was ever going to happen...and then the unthinkable did eventually happen... in the 76th minute Schalk Burger actually passed the ball, which prompted a mate of mine to comment "You see, I told you he was improving!"

Now, the way Schalk played it was clear that he was doing so under strict instructions, which, for him personally, are mitigating circumstances, but if this performance(instructions?) gets repeated vs the All Blacks then Dan Carter is going to get more place-kicking practice in one afternoon than in the entire previous Tri-Nations! Forget the tries, Dan will simply kick us to pieces! Imagine every time Schalk touches the ball he'll be engulfed by at least three(big, heavy, and strong) All Blacks, one of whom will be Richie McCaw, with the inevitable penalty ensuing. If we do manage to retain possession it will have been after a dodgy contest for the ball on the ground(which was ours to begin with), only to get it back slowed down, and then repeating the whole arduous process all over again, with Richie&Co waiting to pounce, once more!

Come on Jake, Gert, et al ... is this the best you can come up with? No wonder we only managed one try despite an abundance of good possession. Yes, the Aussie defence was incredible, and Yes, the ref was a total fart-ass, but if your game-plan is going to be so predictable, ineffectual, and one-dimensional, then rather send the blokes onto the field with the simple instruction of "Go for it, boys, play rugby, and enjoy yourselves!" That's my game-plan, anyway...

Finally, a very interesting snippet from the media: Danie Rossouw and Bakkies Botha were teammates before... in Primary School...Danie played fly-half and Bakkies was his scrumhalf! Please, everyone, don't tell Jake!!!

But this isn't half as interesting as the bit that alleges that Diana Spencer's biological dad was in fact none other than 'playboy tycoon', the late Sir James Goldsmith! (Ol Jimmy was, after all, known to have investigated virtually every skirt in Britain, and beyond.)

Besides, Diana and Jemima(Jimmy's undisputed daughter) do look frightfully alike!

Luke Watson & the Big Kahunas of SA Rugby

2007-06-15T11:07:00.001-07:00

For the entire 2006 season Luke Watson(LW) was, in the eyes of the rugby public, the most wronged player in SA. Week after week he was either Player of the Match, or simply outstanding in his role as loose-forward and captain of his team. For his superlative efforts he received the award of Player of the Super 14, normally reserved for the likes of a McCaw, a Larkham, or a Carter. He was loved and admired from the Limpopo to the Cape, from Richards Bay to Bloemfontein. Not once did Jake White consider him good enough for inclusion into even the larger Springbok Training Squad of 40-odd players, to the dismay and disbelief of rugby fans and commentators both here and in Aus/NZ.

Various rumours did the rounds: Jake doesn't like Luke for personal reasons; Jake doesn't like Luke's father; Jake's teacher-buddy who taught/coached Luke way back is behind everything.
(Take note: rugby ability never surfaced anywhere) However, the most plausible explanation, it seems, is the one that goes: John Smit, the fourth best hooker in the country but Bok captain, cannot stand the sight of Luke and refuses to play with him. Which might also explain Luke's departure from Natal after being one of the young stars in their Super 12 and Currie Cup teams. (Which begs the question howcome the Jake & John Show has developed into this almost omnipotent force in SA Rugby?)

This year LW again had a good season but not the fire-works of last year. Quite understandably, I would think. If one played like he did, and got treated like he was, one's performance is bound to suffer somewhere along the line. But then the Big Kahunas of SA Rugby stepped forward and did exactly what we've come to expect from them...they put their foot in it, stuffed it up, lost the plot entirely. You cannot do what they did re LW and not make a total breast of yourself. If, as SA Rugby, you are not happy with any aspect of the coach's work you do one of two things. If the source of your concerns/unhappiness is of a serious enough nature you go ahead and fire the coach. If not, you shut your stupid mouth up and let the coach get on with it. It's that simple, really. You certainly do not embarrass your coach, your team, and your country in the sloppy , unprofessional, and bumbling manner in which they did. I'm certainly no fan of Jake's; even if he and the fourth best hooker, through some fluke, manage to win the RWC it still won't swing my sentiments in their favour. But for the first time in a very long time the rugby public actually took Jake's side! The only positive thing that could possibly have come out of this was Jake's resignation, and not even that happened!

So, we are left with a situation where poor Luke makes his first appearance in a Bok jersey through farcical selection, (whereas post-White he would no doubt get plenty of chances), and where he might now have to carry a life-long stigma as not quite deserving of his Bok colours, which is a great shame and a disservice to him. Also, Jake White keeps gaining ill-gotten public sympathy, first via SA Rugby's selection meddling, and now this week through his bosses' petty intervention to stop tea with Thabo. Considering the whole array of clowns who, from coaching right through to management, are collectively responsible for the game in this country, it's quite a momentous miracle everytime the Boks win any Test whatsoever!

Trade Unions display Trademark Thuggery

2007-06-10T08:02:00.000-07:00

A very predictable pattern of events have unfolded the past week or so . I refer, of course, to the National Strike by members of the public sector. It inevitably degenerated into sporadic brawling & clashes with police, and the usual measure of violence and intimidation directed at colleagues blessed with a sense of responsibility i.e those who wanted to go back to work, or simply wish to keep an eye on exam-writing pupils!

Reports were also received of pupils who were physically assaulted by striking teachers, and parents who had to leave their places of work to fetch their kids from school because the safety of the children could no longer be guaranteed! What a wonderfull educational dispensation do we not now have that allows this sort of thuggery firstly, to take place, and secondly, to go unpunished...because unpunished it will certainly go!

Are these people really being paid too little? Well, certainly not in the case of those who have behaved violently towards pupils and co-workers. These aren't isolated cases. Probably a good 10% , if not more, are quilty of violence & intimidation. They should be sacked immediately. Another 20-30% are cleaners & sweepers which is the most overpayed category in the public sector. Not a penny more for them. The remaining 60% or so can (very generously) be split into two. Half of them simply pitch up every day, do as little as possible whilst counting the minutes to knocking-off time. They don't deserve a raise either. The other half (or remaining 30%) are those that are actually responsible for making the public service what it is, which isn't much...but they are far more deserving of a raise than the first 70%. Give them 6-8%, take it or leave it. If they don't like it, LET THEM STRIKE TILL THE COWS COME HOME, however long it takes. Giving in to violence and unreasonable demands will simply re-energise an arrogant Trade Union movement bent on periodically paralyzing the public sector.

At the same time, however, government should, as a sign of good faith, announce the reversal of a recent decision which gave politicians even more ludicrous pay- hikes. Did I say cleaners & sweepers are the most overpayed category in the public sector?

Greetings from the Deep South

2007-06-04T10:45:00.000-07:00

This is my first effort, and certainly a huge leap for a sheepfarmer located in the south-western districts of South Africa, some 80km from the southernmost tip of Africa.

In my own totally bi-partisan, ideologically neutral way I shall keep readers informed about both politics and farming from our neck of the woods, will tackle with loads of zeal and little insight the various conundrums of our new reality, whilst never losing sight of the sweeter things in life like cars, wine, buildings and G-string design!

Rugby (A hooligan's game played by gentlemen):
Which, inexplicably brings me immediately to Saturday's 2nd Rugby Test between SA and England. Nothing to cheer about if you're from SA: don't let the score (55-22) fool you. England fielded their 3rd Team and managed to upset our scrums, stole our line-out ball, and make our backs look stupid for most of the game. Take away the individual brilliance of Habana and Spies(2 tries apiece), and you're looking at a scoreline of 27-22!! Hardly a confidence builder going into the Tri-Nations, not to speak of a World Cup later this year. The Jake&John Show(JJS) aka the Springboks are hopefully not enjoying a false sense of security especially given their propensity for premature euforia. Can we win the RWC later this year in France? Yes, BUT... More about that later.

Cricket (A gentlemen's game played by hooligans):
So, now he was NOT murdered! Poor Bob Woolmer, of course. What a monumental cock-up of a police investigation if ever there was...Even the slicko seconded by Scotland Yard to keep a watchfull eye in Jamaica got it all wrong...right? The universally credible scenario that Woolmer got Bookied, so to speak, has now been flung into the seductive waters of the Caribbean based on the belated discovery that the victim had not been a healthy chap all along! Well folks, the latest installment of the Woolmer Investigation coupled with a few curious results during the CWC will do nothing, I'm afraid, to erase wide-spread & legitimate misgivings about the integrity of the game at the highest level.

National Strike:
South Africa has had the dubious benefit of a Public Sector Strike since last Friday. Were it not for State-controlled TV News nobody would have noticed a damn thing! Anyway, the Unions will do their National Strike-thing every few years just, it seems, to let everyone know they're still around, but mainly to give the Union Bosses an inflated sense of their own importance. They so love to be legends in their own lunch-times, to paraphrase Churchill re Attlee. It was of course another Brit, one with real balls of steel, a certain Margaret from Grantham, who dealt most effectively with the Unions, and bear in mind that at the time the British Unions were a collective led by some of the nastiest Stalinists of the 20th century. Which brings me to the real point I want to make: In politics any and every crisis can be dealt with effectively provided the underlying political will exists to do so in the first place. ( Be forewarned, this matter of political will, or the lack thereof, will be a recurring theme on this blog.)